Ever found yourself at a bar, staring at a menu filled with colorful concoctions and fancy names, wondering what to order? While the world of cocktails is vast and exciting, not all drinks are created equal – especially when it comes to ordering them at a busy bar. Some cocktails can be a bartender’s nightmare, while others might not give you the experience you’re hoping for. Let’s dive into the world of libations and explore the drinks that might be best left off your order list. You might be surprised to find some popular favorites on this list!
1. The Notorious Long Island Iced Tea
The Long Island Iced Tea is a cocktail that has gained notoriety for its potent mix of multiple spirits. This drink typically contains vodka, gin, tequila, rum, and triple sec, with just a splash of cola for color. While it might sound like a good idea to get “more bang for your buck,” the reality is far less appealing. The high alcohol content of this drink can lead to rapid intoxication, often catching drinkers off guard.
Moreover, the Long Island Iced Tea is often seen as a “rookie” drink in the bar scene. Experienced bartenders might inwardly groan when they hear this order, as it’s often associated with patrons looking to get drunk quickly rather than savoring the nuances of a well-crafted cocktail. The mix of so many different spirits also tends to mask the individual flavors, resulting in a drink that’s more about alcohol content than taste.
If you’re looking for a refreshing, tea-like drink with a kick, consider alternatives like a John Daly (vodka and lemonade with iced tea) or a classic Gin and Tonic with a twist of lemon. These options offer a more balanced flavor profile and won’t send you spinning after just one drink.
2. The Labor-Intensive Ramos Gin Fizz
The Ramos Gin Fizz is a classic cocktail with a rich history, particularly in New Orleans. However, its preparation is so labor-intensive that it’s often considered the bane of many bartenders’ existence. This drink requires an extensive shaking process – traditionally up to 12 minutes – to achieve its signature frothy texture. The ingredients include gin, citrus juices, cream, egg white, and orange flower water, all of which need to be perfectly balanced and emulsified.
In busy bars, ordering a Ramos Gin Fizz can significantly slow down service. Some establishments in New Orleans have even invested in special machines to shake these drinks, but most bars aren’t equipped for such a time-consuming process. If you’re at a craft cocktail bar during a quiet time, by all means, indulge in this unique drink. However, on a busy Friday night, it’s best to choose something simpler.
For a similarly refreshing gin-based drink that won’t cause a stir behind the bar, try a classic Gin Fizz or a Tom Collins. These drinks offer a bright, citrusy flavor profile without the extensive preparation time of their more complex cousin.
3. The Misunderstood Mojito
The Mojito, a classic Cuban cocktail, is a favorite among many for its refreshing blend of mint, lime, and rum. However, it’s often cited as a drink that bartenders dread making, especially during busy hours. The reason? It’s surprisingly time-consuming and messy to prepare properly.
A good Mojito requires fresh mint leaves to be carefully muddled – not crushed or shredded – to release their oils without becoming bitter. This process takes time and skill. Additionally, the use of fresh ingredients means that bars need to keep a constant supply of mint on hand, which has a limited shelf life and can be a breeding ground for bacteria if not properly stored and used quickly.
If you’re craving a minty, refreshing drink, consider ordering a Southside cocktail instead. It’s similar to a Mojito but typically uses gin instead of rum and doesn’t require muddling. Alternatively, a simple Rum and Tonic with a squeeze of lime can provide a similar flavor profile without the fuss.
4. The Sugary Trap of Frozen Drinks
Frozen drinks like Piña Coladas, Strawberry Daiquiris, and Frozen Margaritas might seem like the perfect choice for a hot day or a festive mood. However, these icy concoctions often come with a host of issues that make them less than ideal choices at a bar. First and foremost, they’re typically loaded with sugar. The sweet, fruity mixers used in these drinks can mask the taste of alcohol, leading you to consume more than you might realize.
From a practical standpoint, frozen drinks can be a nightmare for bartenders. They require special equipment (like blenders) which are noisy and take up valuable counter space. In a busy bar, the time it takes to clean the blender between different drink orders can significantly slow down service. Moreover, not all bars have the capacity to make these drinks, especially if they’re not a beachside or tropical-themed establishment.
If you’re in the mood for something fruity and refreshing, consider ordering a classic Daiquiri (served up, not frozen), a Paloma, or even a wine spritzer. These drinks offer bright, fresh flavors without the sugar overload or the hassle of frozen preparation.
5. The Outdated Appletini
The Appletini, or Apple Martini, was a staple of 1990s bar culture, popularized by TV shows and movies of the era. However, ordering one today might earn you a raised eyebrow from your bartender. This once-trendy drink has fallen out of favor for several reasons, not least of which is its typically artificial taste.
Most Appletinis are made with bright green apple-flavored liqueur or syrup, which often tastes more like candy than actual apples. This overly sweet, artificial flavor is a far cry from the sophisticated cocktails that many modern bars pride themselves on. Additionally, the vibrant green color can be off-putting to some and doesn’t align with the current trend towards natural, subtly flavored drinks.
If you’re craving an apple-flavored cocktail, consider asking for a more updated version. Some craft cocktail bars might offer a modern take on the Appletini using fresh apple juice, calvados (apple brandy), and more natural ingredients. Alternatively, a classic Gin and Tonic with a slice of green apple can provide a crisp, refreshing drink with a hint of apple flavor.
6. The Misplaced Bloody Mary
The Bloody Mary is a beloved brunch staple, known for its savory flavor and supposed hangover-curing properties. However, ordering this cocktail outside of brunch hours can be problematic. Many bars don’t keep fresh tomato juice, horseradish, and other Bloody Mary-specific ingredients readily available throughout the day, as these items have a limited shelf life and are primarily used for this one cocktail.
Moreover, a well-made Bloody Mary often comes with an array of garnishes – from celery stalks and olives to bacon and even mini cheeseburgers in some extreme cases. Preparing these garnishes takes time and requires ingredients that might not be on hand during regular bar hours. Ordering a Bloody Mary at night might result in a subpar drink or a frustrated bartender who has to scramble for ingredients.
7. The Risky “Surprise Me” Order
While it might seem fun and spontaneous to ask a bartender to “surprise you” with a drink, this request can actually be quite problematic in a busy bar setting. Bartenders are trained to make specific drinks efficiently, and asking them to create something on the spot can disrupt their workflow, especially during peak hours. Moreover, without knowing your preferences, allergies, or tolerance, they might create something you don’t enjoy or can’t consume safely.
This type of order also puts unnecessary pressure on the bartender to “impress” you, which can be stressful when they’re trying to manage multiple orders. It’s much more helpful to give the bartender some guidance about your preferences – whether you like sweet or sour, strong or mild, particular spirits you enjoy or avoid.
Instead of asking for a surprise, try asking for a recommendation based on your tastes. For example, you might say, “I usually enjoy gin-based drinks with citrus flavors. Do you have any suggestions?” This approach allows the bartender to showcase their knowledge while ensuring you get a drink you’ll likely enjoy.
Navigating the world of cocktails can be a delightful adventure, but it’s important to be mindful of both your own enjoyment and the bartender’s ability to serve you efficiently. By avoiding these potentially problematic drinks, you’re more likely to have a positive experience at the bar. Remember, the best drink to order is one that you’ll enjoy and that the bar is well-equipped to prepare. When in doubt, don’t hesitate to ask for recommendations or stick to classic cocktails that are staples in most bars. Cheers to making informed choices and enjoying your night out responsibly!
